Are You Living in a Sexless Marriage? Steps to Recapture the Intimacy With Your Spouse

By Gillian Reynolds 

Are you living in a sexless marriage? You’re likely feeling a whole host of emotions associated with it. Many couples struggle through this same issue. There’s a misconception that when intimacy leaves a marriage it’s always caused by one of the partners falling out of love with the other or seeking out an affair. That’s not necessarily the case at all. Intimacy changes for many reasons within a marriage and regardless of why yours has become sexless, there is a way for you to change it. You don’t have to continue to live like this. You can pull your spouse closer again and reignite their desire for you.

Understanding how to change a sexless marriage includes recognizing what happened and why. Marriages always change and that’s a part of life. However, when one of those changes is a shift in intimacy, it can challenge the couple’s commitment to one another. You must try and identify what is causing the distance between you two. Often times it’s just the case of a conflict that the couple can’t resolve. Their feelings of distance over the issue at hand carry over into the bedroom. Another reason why intimacy sometimes falls to the wayside in a marriage is that there’s an overwhelming amount of stress for the couple to deal with. If one or both partners has to juggle a stressful career, with paying bills and tending to the family, intimacy will likely be the very last thing on their mind.

Once you believe you know why your marriage has lost its passion, you can get to work changing it. If it’s indeed something that has been born from a never ending argument, deal with that now. Be the one to take the first step towards compromise. You can also work on finding outlets to help you alleviate your stress. If the problem is related more to your spouse and their stress level, get on board with helping them find solutions that will help them to be calmer and more in control of their life and time. Working on this together is actually part of the solution. You’ll find that it will draw you closer again.

Becoming intimate again after a time can feel a bit awkward for you both. It’s natural for it to feel this way but there are ways to overcome it. Start outside the bedroom by touching your partner more. Even something as simple as reaching for their hand or rubbing their shoulders can make a difference in how you relate to one another physically. The key is to take it in small steps and then enjoy the moment. Rediscovering this part of your marriage will be a pleasure for you both.

Many couples struggle with discussing the issue of a sexless marriage and as a result, nothing ever changes and both become more and more frustrated. Don’t waste another day wishing your intimate life was more fulfilling, change it now.

Click here for related information about intimacy in marriage

How important is sexual intimacy in marriage

Here is one more article that  highlights the benefits of Intimacy in Marriage

This is an ongoing topic that I have with men and women daily and that is how important is the sex in your marriage. The underlining answer is usually the same and that is when sex is good and frequent it is not much of an issue, but when it is not good or frequent it becomes a sore spot in the marriage. In fact it becomes an open door for cheating and divorce, many couples get to the point in the marriage where they just don’t know how to get the sex in the marriage going again. In many ways they feel like their spouse has just become their roommate and they no longer know that person anymore. What are the best steps to renewing the marriage and figuring out how to get the intimacy back with your spouse? The best way is to acknowledge that there is a problem to begin with. Once both people in the marriage acknowledge that the sex is a problem then they can begin to work on it. The best place to start is with a marriage counselor that can help the couple get back into the marriage, if one spouse has a decreased libido and that is the problem then that spouse needs to try and get their libido back through counselling and sexual aid. The bottom line is if you are in an unhappy in your marriage don’t wait for the marriage to get better on its own take charge and lay the cards out on the table, at this point what do you really have to lose.

This article was copied from wellness.com

10 Amazing Tips For Sexual Intimacy In Marriage

Supplementary to the posts found in Sex Intimacy in Marriage Blog.  The post below is a good supplement:

A marriage is a healthy blend of physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual union. All the factors should be present for a great relationship. Therefore, Sexual Intimacy in Marriage cannot be ignored. Both the partners need to work on improving the physical intimacy between them. It’s true that after a few years of marriage the “spark” gets lost. Thus, it is the responsibility of the partners to re-ignite the fire and save their marriage from boredom.

Tips For Sexual Intimacy In Marriage

Communicate your feelings: One thing that can destroy any relationship is the lack of communication. It is very important for people to express themselves in marriage. Talk about the sexual preferences and fantasies. This will relax both of you and bring you closer.

Shed inhibitions: Sex has always been seen as a sin. Particularly women perform the love-making act as a chore. Shedding inhibitions will give you both ample opportunities to try out different things in bed.

Prioritize sex: Sexual intimacy in marriage takes a backseat in the long run. Although we all have tight schedule, it is essential to make time for physical union. Take out time for making love every week or whatever suits both of you.

Please your partner: You should be ready to do things which your spouse wants. Once you put in effort to satisfy your partner he/she will be more open about his/her desires. This will also encourage the other party to return the favor.

Create an atmosphere: Light some candles, throw in some perfume and decorate the room for the heated sessions. The right ambiance will definitely create the mood for some passionate episodes. Don’t forget to prepare yourself for “the” act. This will surely bring sexual intimacy in marriage.

Touch often: Touching is an integral part of physical intimacy. A pat on the back, a gentle squeeze or just holding hands will bring back the magic in yourmarriage. It need not be anything sexual. The partners feel connected with each other when there is casual physical proximity between them.

Explore each other: There is nothing as exciting as exploring the human body. You can count the moles on each other’s body or the birth marks. This way you two can open up in front of each other. This will also give an idea as to what your partner finds enticing.

Make it emotional: Let sex not just be a physical union but something beyond that. Make love to connect with each other physically, emotionally and spiritually. This will strengthen your marriage. While making love you and your better half should be together through body, heart and soul.

Surprise! Surprise: Everyone loves the element of surprise. Naughty messages, sexy look, arousing whisperings will keep the partner guessing what is in store for him/her. Spice up your sex life by making plans and doing something out of the normal every month.

Do something together: Take out some “us” time and do things which require both of you to come together. It can be as simple as cooking, painting the house or playing a game. Such activities will bring out the playfulness in you.

This post copied from http://marriage.ygoy.com/2010/11/11/10-amazing-tips-for-sexual-intimacy-in-marriage/

Make it Fun

As was discussed many times over in my Sex Intimacy in Marriage blog,lovemaking should be an essential part of every married couples life.  From a South Asian perspective, the message is the same.

Is lack of intimacy affecting your marriage? Experts tell Arunima Srivastava how to deal with it  Sex is a priority for the modern couple and lack of compatibility can even drive them apart. According to an international survey, 28 per cent divorced because their partner was emotionally cold and distant. 

From frigidity to lack of sexual chemistry and stress taking over personal time, sex no longer comes naturally for many. For instance, Prahlad Krishnan’s first marriage fell apart because his wife was cold towards the act. He says, “In our two years together, I found her frigid. She was either too tired after work or busy with other household chores. When I tried to talk it out, we would end up fighting. She would call me selfish, impractical and sex obsessed.”  He wonders aloud, “I don’t know if our incompatibility led to lack of sex or the other way around.” 

Lack of intimacy can result in feelings of frustration, depression and anxiety, which if stretched over a long period, can send the marriage downhill. E x - plains s ex t h e ra - pist and counsellor Ra j a n B h o n s l e,  "Sex is an essential part of marriage. Denial of sex and sexual incompatibility are big enough reasons for couples to either feel frustrated or look for options outside marriage on the rebound.” 

For Geetika Kumar, intimacy took a beating post-pregnancy. She says, “Things were perfect for the first four years. I was still working and we cherished the evenings, craving those moments of intimacy in bed. But soon after I had a baby, I quit my job and felt my husband withdraw from me physically.” She adds, “I don’t even remember when we had sex last.”  Shuchi Arya can empathise, “Last month, when my hubby was overworked, we didn’t get together for 10 days. That was enough for me to imagine that he didn’t love me anymore or didn’t find me attractive. It’s a scary feeling.” 

This is the time to keep the communication channels open. Author Shobhaa De’s advice to couples in her book Shobhaa at Sixty, is to just do it. She writes, “For those who think they are missing out on one of life’s most beautiful experiences (sex), my advice is to go for it! Don’t feel shy. Take ‘sex breaks’ over weekends and make them romantic and memorable. Make it fun. Make it fulfilling!”  The fear is strong enough to drive couples into a state of depression, for the psychological impacts of a sex-starved marriage are long and deep. 

States psychiatrist Sanjay Chugh, “I have couples in their 30s and 40s coming to me with the problem of a bad sex life. There is enormous mental trauma.”  The only way out is to value couple time and address the issue before it’s too late! 

Turn-offs 
- Lack of interest in the marriage 
- Shy man syndrome 
- Finds partner unattractive 
- Different sex drives 
- Too many fights 
- Turned on by porn 
- Communication gap 
- Biological problem  Read more: Make it fun! - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Make-it-fun/articleshow/6883027.cms#ixzz14eYd7j6w

How Sex Is Like Pizza

At the Sex intimacy in Marriage blog I have discussed that the core of the marriage is being and staying monogamous.  Here is a quote from Dr. Drew on the subject:

“How hard is it for a man to be monogamous?

Not that difficult. Listen, cheating harms your marriage, your wife, your children, and your family. Does a man need more motivation than that?”

Here is an interesting comment from the same article that Dr. Drew has written and it is about Oral Sex. It has been my contention that oral sex is best enjoyed iwithin the confines of a monogamous relationship.  The reason for that is is conveyed in Dr. Drew’s response to this comment.

Comment:  “hi, In the matter of oral sex most of men now ask for oral sex, even if he just seen you , so it became a fashion. what do you say in that.”

“I say you make your own decisions, you are responsible for your own health. Oral sex is risky business, you can get STDs that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life because of a decision you made too quickly. I say no thanks to that. They should want to be around you for who you are, not for what favors you provide. Don’t put yourself at risk for someone you don’t know very well!

For more of the article visit How Sex Is Like Pizza

There’s a Reason Why You Are No Longer Having Sex

Men “always” seem to want or expect more sex from their partners than they get. And, women also sometimes complain that they are not getting their fair share of action in the bedroom. I was once told by an old man that if you put a penny in a jar every time you have sex during your first year of marriage, and then you took a penny out of the same jar every time you had sex after the first year of your marriage, that your jar would still have pennies in it when you died. [sigh] Is it any wonder that so many young people are hesitant to get married?

Last year a German company began to seek FDA approval for the drug flibanserin as a treatment for a condition the diagnostic manual (the DSM IV-TR) calls hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD). The targeted application: to treat women who have decreased desire for sex. Some were excited and began to tout it as the long-awaited bookend to Viagra; a “female” Viagra. Others, such as the groupOur Bodies Ourselves, were less excited about the drug and the diagnosis of HSDD, and issued this statement:

“The diagnosis of HSDD unnecessarily medicalizes women’s sexual lives. Attempting to treat low libido with a pill ignores the fact that many women’s level of desire is deeply affected by everyday life stress and interpersonal relationships.”

I agree with that. And in 2010 the FDA declined to approve the drug in an almost unanimous vote, citing problems of efficacy and that the “dizziness and fatigue” experienced by 15% of test subjects outweighed the slight benefits of the drug. Good riddance, and please don’t come back, if you ask me.

It is my experience that the majority of sexual problems between partners are about relationship dynamics and/or unresolved wounds. They aren’t about being bored or about a decreased lack of interest in sex. It’s also not about getting older and losing one’s libido with age. It’s not about needing sex toys, lube or about a need to “experiment”. In my experience, nearly all adults are quite ready and able to have satisfying sex with a committed partner, but many of us who are married are having very little sex, or we find satisfying sex elusive.

Frankly, if you are in a sexless marriage you need to quit rationalizing and making excuses for the situation. It goes against our design to be sexless, especially when we have access to an appropriate sex partner. At the risk of over-generalizing, let me simply state that if you are in a sexless marriage, you probably have a relationship problem. (Or, it could be that you have a two month old baby; a very legitimate reason for not having much sex.) The general rule of thumb is that if you have sex no more than ten times a year, you are in a sexless marriage. And you can’t count the sex that happened because someone was drunk or the trying-to-have-a-baby-sex that reduces you to being little more than a stud horse. We’re talking about two people making love, and whether or not it’s happening with satisfying regularity in your bedroom.

Let’s look at some legitimate explanations for why you couples may no longer be having sex.

Physiological Problems

There are many physical problems that can make sex problematic or impossible. Some of those problems involve the presence of pain during sex: female sexual arousal disorder (a lack of natural lubrication), dyspareunia (pain in the genitals during sex; in either gender) or vaginismus (when her vagina uncontrollably tightens around his penis really hard). These conditions can make sex impossible due to the level of discomfort experienced during sex. And, if you have a television, you probably know more than you want to know about erectile dysfunction (ED) and the number of companies who want to sell us a pill to treat it. ED is a condition where a man is not physiologically able to get (or maintain) an adequate erection, usually due to blood flow problems to the penis. There are also issues related to our orgasmic functioning, such as premature ejaculation on one end of the spectrum, and orgasmic disorders related to the inability to orgasm at all on the other end of the spectrum. There are lots of ways to not enjoy sex that at least seem to be completely physiological in nature.

Most of these problems can be due to physical injury, infection or can be in part due to age. However… we are sometimes too quick to assume that these are problems requiring medical treatment, because all the symptoms related to the conditions I just listed can also have their root in emotional difficulties or relationship problems. If you are experiencing any of these problems during sex, I advise you to have a doctor assess you for any medical conditions that may be the cause of your distress. If a medical examination doesn’t produce any red flags, then it would behoove you to consider looking more closely at matters of emotion or intimacy, or to consider relationship issues that may cause your body to say “No” to sex. These problems (assuming the absence of any physiological issues) are your body speaking for your soul and informing you that you are not ready for intimacy at this time in your life, or with the particular person you are with. If you once had a satisfying sex life with your current partner but your physical experiences of sex have since changed (and not because of a medical condition), you’ll want to consider that relationship issues may be at the root of the problem.

Sexual or Emotional Trauma in the Past

It can be hard to predict how a victim of sexual trauma will respond to the trauma. Some “act out” by becoming hyper-sexual. I know a woman who was raped in her early teens. Her response to the rape was to spend most of the rest of her teen years in a dating (sexual) relationship with her rapist. Now, as an adult, she has cheated on her husband several times. What she’s doing is “acting out” of her trauma; she hasn’t healed or recovered from the sexual trauma of her past. Her trauma is begging for attention by throwing temper tantrums in the form of sexual “acting out”, but she’s not addressing the issues that her trauma is asking her to address. Sadly, she’s at risk of more “acting out” behaviors until she finally starts looking at the pain she’s been avoiding.

In other cases, there is an “acting in”, or an aversion to sex and intimacy as a result of past trauma. These people have experienced some sort of perpetration in their past and now are fearful of anything sexual. They may also have shame issues around their sexuality as a result of their sexual trauma.

Still others are like a former client of mine who was “all of the above”. She was gang raped in her teens and she blamed herself for it (she became “shame-bonded” to sex). She then spent most of her adult life in hypersexual, abusive relationships. She ended one of her marriages on a Monday because she had been in a three day sexual binge with a man she met at a church conference on the Friday before, and she wanted to continue the relationship with the man. Her husband wouldn’t agree to share her with her new boyfriend, and the new guy eventually became her next husband. She later became aware that she was an emotionally and sexually unhealthy person, and she began to seek ways to heal from the wounds of her past. It was at that time that she began to put up sexual boundaries for the first time in her life. She requested that she and her husband have a period of abstinence from sex so they could build healthier patterns in their marriage (and healthier behaviors in the bedroom), and so that she could take some time to heal. He was fine with her wanting to heal, but the abstinence thing was… not easy for him to adapt to at first. I ran into them a while ago and they seemed to be doing well.

Present-Day Wounds

Here’s an explanation of possibly why you are in a sexless marriage that many don’t want to accept: You are in a sexless marriage because that’s what you have earned. Sex is about intimacy. It’s about vulnerability. It’s about having joyful connections with each other. It’s about mutual respect, appreciation and love. But a pattern of insincerity, betrayal, abuse, inconsideration or emotional neglect will foster hurt, anger, anxiety, shame, mistrust, distance and loneliness. I’ve seen it go both ways: Men who rage against their wives also somehow become confused when their wives don’t want to get naked with them; and women who don’t want to share their hearts with their husbands will still expect their husbands to share physically intimate moments with them. I remember one session where the frustrated wife complained “Why can’t we just have sex? Why do I have to deal with all his feelings?”

A Lack of Connection

Similarly, if you want to have wonderfully messy sex with your partner, then be willing to “earn” those moments by participating in some messy emotional encounters beforehand. Our sex lives tend to be a powerful metaphor for the emotional and relational truths of our marriages. Some of us become emotionally detached during sex, while others might make a lot of eye contact, talk and laugh during sex. A client of mine recently told me of a particularly empty sexual experience he had. He paid for a lap dance at a strip club. The girl was appropriately flirtatious and seductive right up to the point when she did the actual “dance”. At that moment, she seemed to completely unplug herself from what they were doing. Her face became emotionless; she seemed to just “check out”. And why wouldn’t she? She wasn’t the least bit invested in him. It was a business transaction, with as much commitment as the Redbox machine will show my wife tonight when she pays her $1 for a one-day rental of Robin Hood. When it’s Redbox machine or a stripper, we understand it being very “mechanical”. But if we see sex as an opportunity to make love, we desire a connection with our partner. Some of us are OK with sex being little more than an act of mutual masturbation involving our and our partner’s genitals, but if we prefer to make love rather than to just copulate with each other, we’ll grow tired of disconnected sex. We may even become… sad about having meaningless sex. Sad because of the emotional connection that is missing from sex, and as a result, sex may no longer be just “disconnected”, but it may become emotionally painful. So we may just avoid sex altogether rather than be reminded of how much we’d prefer love making over an impersonal mechanical act.

In a recent blog installment I made mention of how the Biblical word for sex is the same as the verb “to know” in the ancient Hebrew. When Adam “knew” Eve in Genesis 1, we are reading the Hebrew wordyada, which is “to know” or “to make self known”, but when Lot’s daughters “lay with” their father (they thought he was literally the last man on Earth so they got him drunk and used him for his sperm), it was the word shakab, simply meaning “to lie down”. Do you wish to experience sex like it was when the fearless and naked Adam and Even pioneered sex, fresh and bold, or do you simply want to get horizontal and ejaculate with your partner? In the spiritual sense, we need the “nakedness” of Adam and Eve if we wish to have intimate love making. And if you aren’t promoting “nakedness” with a partner who desires (or, who requires) intimacy, you might find yourself in a sexless union.

You may want to ask “Why was it OK to have sex earlier in our relationship when we didn’t have “naked intimacy”, but now, all of the sudden, it’s a requirement to have sex?” A: Because you aren’t kids anymore, that’s why. Relationships are like children. They start out small and unsophisticated, but we eventually anticipate that they will grow up and mature. Some of us yearn for our marriages to grow beyond the groping newness of our honeymoons into something… more. You may be one of those people who now wants your union to be mature and grown up, or you may have married someone who desires to experience that with their partner. In either case, you’ll need to invest in the maturation of your marriage if you want to return to satisfying sex. If you make those investments into the maturation of your marriage, your sex life can potentially become… more than your fantasies have dreamed it could be.

The Sexual Anorexic

Groucho Marx once said “I would never be the member of a club who would have me as a member.” That is a wonderful way to explain the identity of the sexual anorexic: They loathe themselves, and think that everyone else should loathe them as well. It can be hard for sexual anorexics to see themselves truthfully just as it is hard for those with anorexia nervosa to see their protruding bones in the mirror. I’m somewhat well-acquainted with this because (prepare yourself for some major TMI…) I was sexually anorexic. I was a raging porn addict for much of my adult life. I entered into recovery and began to gain some control over my “solo sex” behaviors with porn, but I was still being sexless in my marriage. It took me some time to realize that if I was really becoming sexually healthy, I would be actually having sex in my marriage. My porn use was my “acting out”, while withholding sex from my wife was a form of “acting in”. I thought that I wasn’t having sex because I had gained control over my sexually compulsive behaviors, but if I was “in control” of my behaviors, I would have been doing the natural thing: having sex with my wife, and with regularity. When I began to address my sexually anorexic behaviors, it became more clear that I didn’t want to be sexual within a relational context because I didn’t see myself as someone that someone should want to have sex with. I “wasn’t someone to be with”, in my own eyes. I had a hard time accepting that a woman might find me acceptable; acceptable to the point of sharing intimate moments with. I needed to deal with some shame issues in order for me to work through the problem.

The difficulty in addressing sexual anorexia is the same as the difficulty of confronting anorexia nervosa in that perception is an issue. “How could a porn addict be afraid of sex?” is the question that puzzled me. There are lots of rationalizations and explanations for why we aren’t having sex that are easier to swallow than “you don’t think people should like you.” But if you are in a marriage where your partner has a desire for sex and none of the other explanations listed above have revealed an explanation why you aren’t having sex, then I encourage you to look deep inside and consider whether or not you might be sexually anorexic.

They Want Sex with an Adult

Yes, I know, you are an adult. Do you behave like one? People who beg for sex are not “sexy”. People who complain about sex are not “sexy”. People who use guilt, shame and other forms of manipulation are not sexually attractive. If you are throwing tantrums about matters of sex, you are not presenting yourself to your partner as one who appears to be “mature and ready for sex”. If your partner is giving you sex because you are whining about it, they may eventually burn out and just decide to quit being co-dependent with you around your demands for unearned, false intimacy. When I was 16 I used a fake I.D. to get into disco in Wichita called Pogo’s. I pretty much just stood around watching others enjoy themselves for most of the night until I began to realize that my adventure into a real 1970’s disco would end without me even dancing with someone. So, I saw two college-aged women sitting at a table and I approached with the super-irresistible line “I’ve been here all night and haven’t danced with anyone, will you dance with me?” With a minimum of eye-contact she said “No”. Why would she dance with me? I appealed to her sense of pity. I suppose that sex-because-I-pity-you is better than none at all, but you can’t expect to do that week after week for the life of your marriage before someone decides that they miss having sex with an equal, with someone who acts like they are actually bringing something good to the relationship. Whiny, desperate pleas for sex send the message that you are still growing up into an adult. Adults don’t beg for intimacy, they partner with another and then they both build it.

Eventually a girl I kinda knew took pity on me and we danced to Le Freak faded into Another One Bites The Dust. I was a charity case, and I knew it; but I was 16, not 30 years old, and I wasn’t married to her. If someone has sex with you because you are a charity case, don’t expect it more than once, even if you are married to them.

So what are good “first steps” for you and your sexless partner? Start with some frank, daring talkabout how/why the sex stopped happening. Keep in mind that lots of fat, ugly and old people are having plenty of good sex, so don’t be afraid to say “We can still be awesome lovers, stretch-marks and all.” Avoid blaming each other for the lack of sex, even if you have legitimate complaints and wounds to resolve. Regardless of why you aren’t having sex, the “sexlessness” you’ve both created is having a negative impact on both of you, so commit to working on the problem together. Don’t fall into the trap of believing that only one of you is/has the problem. These problems are likely about relationship dynamics, with means it takes two to tango, especially if it’s a really bad tango.

For related information visit Sex Intimacy in Marriage

Lack of sex driving over-50s to divorce

Lack of love and intimacy in relationships is driving the over-50s to divorce, according to a new survey.  According to the figures, 28 per cent divorced because their partner was emotionally cold and distant, while a quarter cited a loss of interest in sex. 

The research also found that 27 per cent said they were no longer committed to their marriage, reports the Daily Mail.  The main reason for men ending their marriage – cited in a third of cases – was a lack of interest in sex, while most women said their husband was emotionally cold. 

Known as the ‘Saga divorce’, experts believe many couples who have stayed together for the sake of their children reassess their futures when their offspring fly the nest.  The survey found that money was also one of the reasons given in over-50s divorce cases, with 9 per cent of those quizzed complaining that their partner failed to contribute enough financially to the relationship and 8 per cent saying their other half spent too much money. 

Work also caused problems, with 8 per cent blaming a job that made life difficult and 5 per cent unhappy that their partner flirted with friends or colleagues.  The survey was carried out by Saga, which specialises in products for the over-50s. 


Read more: Lack of sex driving over-50s to divorce - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Lack-of-sex-driving-over-50s-to-divorce/articleshow/6773390.cms#ixzz13VidRyqt

For related information visit Sex Intimacy in Marriage

Problems in Bed? A Sex Quiz for Women

Live Your Best Life  |  Published on January 09, 2009

Do you wish your sex life was better? Do you feel uninterested in sex? Take Dr. Berman’s quiz to identify what could be causing your sexual difficulties.  

For related information about Intimacy in Marriage

Problems in Bed? A Sexual Quiz for Men

Live Your Best Life  |  Published on January 09, 2009

Want to make your sex life better? Do you feel you have a low sex drive? Take Dr. Berman’s quiz to identify what could be causing your sexual difficulties.    

For related information about Intimacy in Marriage

Low Intimacy In Marriage - Origin And Remedies Of Sexless Marriages

A Sexless relationships is a frustrating and relationship breaking thing. Many sexless couples end up in miserable marriages or a lot of times go down the chaotic path of divorce. This article will discuss some of the causes of sexless relationships and also a few number of ways to “cure” your sexless marriage.

Roots of sexless marriage

* Grudges – Over time you can build a wall of resentment out of all the small niggles and problems in your lives. This prevents to intimacy and kills the desire for the other person. If you do not work to solve small problems but let them fester this can make you have many sexless nights in your marital bed. This is not something you want to happen to you, right?
* Complacency – While comfort in a relationship is good there is a point where it becomes too much. We become too familiar with our spouse that instead of seeing them as sexual partners they feel more like housemates or brothers or sisters. This is a bad state of over familiarity with each other.
* Body Image Issues – Many men and women have serious body image insecurities and do not feel as fit as they used to be at the beginning of your relationship they are now old and unattractive. Women especially can feel they are so unsexy that they lose their sense of sexuality and their libido drops to zero. This is also a result of a lack of appreciation from a partner.

Sexless marriage “cures”

* Respect for Oneself – confidence in yourself and in what you can do, a spouse and a lover has a role to helping your sexless partner out of their routine. caring for your own emotions and getting rid of the not so good qualities in yourself will assist you in many aspect of life and most especially in being an attractive lover. Your lover will see you in the same way you see yourself.
* Talking to each other. – If you do not talk about the problems there is no way for you to solve your lack of intimacy in marriage. Being able to converse about your relationship at a deep and personal level and not talking about about your “needs and wants” will help you discover the problems that you can start to take action to fix. Do not let a day pass without you and your partner having quality time to talk even the important things, and even just the things you each went through that specific day.

So if you are sick of the lack of intimacy in marriage and are an end to your sexless marriage then click below to drop by my site where myself and my friend Nancy talk about our sexless relationships and how we got over them which may help you overcome your same case.

For more related information on Sexual Intimacy in Marriage